Parents Are Doing Their Best and it's Enough

March 6, 2020
Science Says It’s OK to Be a Good-Enough Mom

According to a new study, it’s okay to be a “good enough mom” and that it takes less work than you think to make your baby feel secure.

Susan Woodhouse, Ph.D., is an expert on infant attachment, and she’s weighed in on parent’s desire to “get it right” 100 percent of the time.

She says that we consider good parenting to be providing care immediately to a baby when they first show signs of needing something. But she says if you don’t respond right away, the baby will still feel secure. Baby security is the ultimate goal of parenting because research shows security in infancy will positively affect your child’s physical, motor, and cognitive development.

The results of the study prove that if a mom soothed a crying baby with chest-to-chest contact 50 percent of the time, it was enough for the baby to feel secure.

That doesn’t mean you can let your kid run wild. Parents still need to protect them from hurting themselves, but this study shows that a mother needs to allow their child to explore their surroundings and give them their independence when they’re not crying.

Through her study, Dr. Woodhouse hopes parents will see that being a “good enough” parent and is all a baby really needs.

I’ve been so worried about this lately.

I’ve been second-guessing my decisions. I’m worried that I’m not challenging Lilly enough, or maybe I’m pushing her too hard! I want her to be a baby, but I want to set her up for success too.

A recent poll shows that 8 out of 10 moms with children 0-18 years old feel “good enough”. So I’ve had to ask myself, “do I feel like I’m good enough”?

If I really search my heart and be kind to myself, I would say yes.

I just have to keep reminding myself that.

I’m doing a good job, even if I don’t know what I’m doing all the time.

Do you struggle with this too? Let me know in the Facebook comments.